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Uptown slimJim |
The "Teen Years" Editorials |
Lead | |
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Teens face more issues in this current generation than any prior generation says most youngsters. Weither or not you agree with some of the issues teens face that ultimately shape the world in the comming years you can at least offer some advice or point stuff out as we try to make sense of this crazy new world. Remember to obey the rules and reply to editorials in the "Discussion" forum of the editorial section.
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Verch Torcitec |
The Youth Of The Nation | ||
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Hiding behind the many bottles of beer and the smoke from a hit is the sad little face of pure slime. Be them not raised well by their parents or dropped on the head as a baby. They had a choice. They had the ability to make their own decisions. Gods gift to man is the only gift man does not use: the ability to make choices at will.
Children at the age of 14 are having sex. Children at the age of 13 are "experimenting" with drugs. Children at the age of 13 and 14 think they are teenagers or adults. Why has the world come to this? Look around you and see what the spawn of the 21st century are doing. Look around and watch as they show as much respect to you, the person who knows who he/she is. The person who has walked the path, following the guidelines and the person able to control what he/she is feeling. As they would show to an ant. Has all hope been lost? Have I been born into the generation that will see the end of this now pathetic world? Indeed. I cannot change ones mind. I can only laugh at their mistakes and kick them when they are down, provoking them to end their pointless life. Does this make me a bad guy? A rat is in your house, eating your food, nibbling away at your wall, and annoying you as you sleep. Do you let the vermin live? Indeed, you do not. Ask yourself again, in the eyes of a good citizen of the country that you pay taxes too. Am I a bad guy? I drive the snakes off the island, I chase the plague to extinction, I slow down the time it will take for the world, your world, their world to end. Surly the world will end, and end it will in the eyes of the spawn of the nation. One can but only hope the youth of this nation opens its eyes, or forever close them. Originally posted on August 21st, 2003, by Nathan Richardson |
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Uptown slimJim |
FrankenSlim: It's a case of beauty and the beast | ||
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I love complaining, Especially if I can critisize while im at it. Im guessing I do a pretty good job at it: All of my English essays come back to me with perfect marks, I contribute to three different ezboards with my editorials, and friends and occasional enemies of mine trust my judgement enough come to me when they need an honest opinion on something. My reflections, wisdom, propes, japes, taunts, insults, musings, harangues, quips, thrusts and overall complaints have earned me a title as the guy you love to hate and hate to love. I don't believe that my opinions are the right ones, but I think I make a better point than the next 17 year old kid's on touchy subjects like abortion and the crisis in the middle east.
Of course not everyone shares the same affection I do for my snide-remarks. Most of the time my comments are met with "He has a point. I never looked at it that way." Then there's the negative feedback that consists mostly of "Alright we get your point; you don't have to be so vocal about it." This type of feedback often comes from people who agree with what I say but don't agree with how I said it. You know what? I welcome feedback like that. Most people in my Socials class last year were afraid to speak up against what I said because I put so much gusto into my arguments and all they had was a 'What if' question I was prepared to have been asked. This year is different. Im getting people with just as much passion in their opinions as me (Sometimes more) to question what I just said, and I love it! I love debating on an issue, trying to convice people to see things my way, and giving my brain a workout. That's my idea of livening up a class. Without a debate all im really doing is telling the class my opinions; spewing my thoughts out on the floor. It's no fun complaining about something if everyone agrees with you, that's pointing out the obvious, not standing up against a majority. But you know what I love more than complaining? Making people happy. No joke. It's funny; I enjoy prooving people wrong, and I enjoy secretly letting people win at games where I could easily cream them. The problem is I have more opurtunites to flex my debatting muscle thanks to a week of school. I only get the chance to make people happy when the occasion arises, wich is like once every three weeks. Even when those occasions to make people happy arise my critical mind tries to break through. Im a modern day Frankestien: I mean well but windup hurting people. Take my trip I took with my family to New York last January. I really wanted to go to NY and my parents were both psyched to show their kids the big apple. Unfortunately our flight got in late (Add the 5-and-a-half hours of jet-lag), I was sick from a flu bug I caught just before we left, and the city was suffering from one of the coldest winters on record. I was not having fun as I accompanied my family through all the famous NY landmarks with a head cold. Everywhere we went it was a snide-remark here and a complaint about everything there and before I knew, I had ruined the trip (Though my parents would never admit it). When we got back I felt terrible that I made such a mess of things...then I had a revelation: I may have complained about everything, but I did everything that they asked me to do and went everywhere they wanted me to go. It's like when someone pulls me away from a tough level of F-zero GX to mow the lawn, or when a friend asks for a ride to school the next morning--I don't like it; I whine, I protest...but I do it, not because I cave but because I love my family and friends enough to help them out when they need it. Im a generous enough person to help out someone in need but if I don't exercise my freedom of speech right I'd explode. That's why my last girlfriend left me, she said I was too negative. While I am prone to fly off the handle with my complaints the big picture is that I did what they asked of me, and they appreciate that more than they detest my comments. So if you ever need me to do you a favour, big or small, I'll help you out in anyway I can. But be warned that if I don't like what im doing you're gonna hear about it. Respond to this and other editorials in the discussion forum: pub37.ezboard.com/fnextgenerationconsoles80644frm15.showMessage?topicID=3.topic |
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Uptown slimJim |
Big Problem: You do not want fries with that | ||
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Im getting mighty sick with all these reports comming from cardiovascular fascists telling the kids of today that they need to slim down. Im all in favour of a healthy lifestyle but these insult comedians with a medical degree treat every new report they come up with as a means of motivating 'fatties' the same way as fammed in the movie 'Full metal jacket'. Yeah that's a great idea: Let's make fun of overweight children as a means of motivating them to get in shape. These guys are heart doctors, you'd think they'd know by now that one of the leading causes of over-eating is depression.
I've always said that appearance shouldn't be a factor for how you're treated by others (Confidence in yourself is key) but one thing I cannot dismiss is the fact that there are people who willingly spend their days destroying themselves. Sure such a spectacle gives more support to Darwinism, but you have to wonder why anyone would want to do that to themselves. So I don't care if someone is fat, husky or what have you. But overweight is unhealthy and that's something I'd like to address in this editorial: Yes it's important to feel good about yourself, but you can't possibly feel good if you get short of breath after running ten feet. The main problem with obesity in our youth is that the government is taking all the wrong steps towards correcting it. One of the suggestions is to make Physical education 12 a requirement for graduation. If you fail PE you wont graduate. Sure this means that the students will get more exercise, but the people who make the rules have forgotten something: The main reason PE was never meant to be a requirement for graduation was because only a handful of students can benefit from it. By grade 12 lots of students have a good idea for what they want to do for a living and what they need to study that'll get them in that field. Take my desire to be a video game desinger for example: I need writting and communication skills, artistic talent, basic knowledge of computer science and creative juices to burn. Being able to land a ball in a hoop isn't a requirement for me so I choose not to take it. Physical education 12 is a great class to have on a report card if you plan to be a pro athlete, otherwise it's just an intrest you have that was meant to fill up your course selection sheet. Besides PE is supposed to be fun; how much fun can it be when the kids with no athletic talent play alongside the all-stars? Another idea was to ban vending machines in schools. Sure it would cut back on the sweets intake, but have you forgoten why we have vending machines in school in the first place? Politiciens have already finished their schooling so they see no need to pay for something they wont use. In other words, they give the school board zero funding. Vending machines were placed in schools as a means of daily income for the starved educators. That loose change is all we got for funding towards more class rooms and new text books. Sure go ahead and replace the candy and chocolate in the machines with more nutritious offerings like vegetables, if you want. But the candy bar companies have deep pockets and they'll pay to have their name brands inside school vending machines, where their largest customers can be found...you know what I meant by that. These are horrible sollutions. I purpose a colour-coded rating system...the government seems to like linking problems with colours. Have it right there on the packaging, a colour for each value of nutrition found in the food product: Green for healthy and have it have all the varrying degrees of health until you reach deep red...wich would only be available to inmates on death row as part of their last meal--heck, it probably would be their last. I want everyone to be healthy, I want everyone to live long, that's why im putting so much effort into getting my point accross about safe eating. If you don't want to watch what you eat that's fine by me, I won't stop you. You've made your decision and we live in a society where people are entitled to whatever they want. You feel good about yourself that's all the matters, I just thought maybe happiness and health are linked. And do me a favour: Live life however you want but stop eating at McDonalds! The whole time I worked there we served customers pure garbage, I swear. Respond to this and other editorials in the discussion forum: pub37.ezboard.com/fnextgenerationconsoles80644frm15.showMessage?topicID=3.topic |
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Uptown slimJim |
Abstinence is the best protection: Abortion | ||
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I really hate abortion.
I've never bought the argument that a fetus is just tissue. And because I value human life so highly, I really find it tragic when someone decides to opt for an abortion. But I'm not alone in that. I think the overwhelming majority of people feel that way - and I don't mean only anti-abortion activists. People who choose to have abortions feel that way too. It isn't a decision that is entered into lightly, nor one that has no lasting emotional toll. Nobody really likes abortion, anymore than they like any other very hard decision in life. But it is their decision to make. I really hate abortion. But know what I hate more? Children born into misery. Unwanted children, abandoned children, children born to unfit, unhealthy or unaware mothers due to lack of access to contraception or lack of knowledge on birth control options. In the third world, children are born and die before they reach the age of 4 knowing nothing but pain and suffering. And why? No access to info on birth control, no access to birth control. And in the western world, children are also born to suffering and illness for the same reasons. And this councelling for abstinence crap? Give me a break. Kids who bother to seek advice on sex have already decided they are going to have sex. Telling them not to have sex is like telling someone who takes their car to a mechanic that they're better off not driving. It puts kids at risk by not giving them the info they'll need when they "do it". It also further promotes the mystification of virginity as some kind of virtue. A person who has sex is no less a good person than a person who hasn't, and perpetuating that fairytale impedes the realistic dialogue that kids might otherwise have with parents or peers. It also uniquely victimizes women and their self-image, simply because some choose to answer the call of their loins. So what am I saying? That it's okay if teens have sex? Well, yes and for the most part, yes. The exploration of new physical abilities is natural. It's no different than learning to walk. Walking is something that can get you into trouble too, unless you learn where to go and where to not go. Are there dangers in sexual exploration? Sure there are - so that's why kids need responsible counseling. But instead, most activists want to lecture them about abstinence. So what happens? Kids get no information, sex is seen as dangerous and rebellious, and isn't approached with a proper sense of conequence. So, hello youths with herpes, crabs, the clap or HIV. And hello pregnant teens. The only sound argument in support of abortions I can see is with stem-cell research. That's a case of killing a life to save others (That's my argument to support wars), but even then you're stuck with the decision of weither to let a living person die or stopping a life before it even began. If you oppose abortion, then take steps to curb unwanted and accidental pregnancies. Or shut up. But quit trying to externalize a view of the world that has only ever existed in your deluded fantasies. If you're for abortion you need to start checking your morals and ethics. You don't need to promote abstinence. People are born abstinent, and stay that way for quite a while. And people generally know when the time is right for them to explore the sexual dimension of their lives. So why don't we stop acting like morons, stop making sex seem like anything more than the next, inevitable step in a human's growth, and approach it realistically with information and discussion. In other words, it's time to take sex out of the bedroom. The key to reducing the spread of STDs, unwanted pregnancies and abortions is information. Respond to this and other editorials in the discussion forum: pub37.ezboard.com/fnextgenerationconsoles80644frm15.showMessage?topicID=3.topic |
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Uptown slimJim |
Male pattern stupidity: I dare you to read it | ||
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Wouldn't our primordial ancestors be proud? That, given any opportunity, people speedily drop the pretense that we're anything more than animals.
Think of that old line "I dare you". That's the spark that starts the inevitable fire. It doesn't matter who says it, it doesn't matter what the challenge is, all it means is that you've been challenged. To most people it's a call out to your abilities, to others they feel as if their respect among drunks is at stake. So rather than back out, most people will see the once obstacle to be avoided now as the challenge that must be overcome. Most disturbing is what happens to men in situations such as Woodstock 99 and Mardi Gras. Away from home, fortified by chemicals, emboldened by the anonymity of the crowd, these belching bags of testosterone throw off the shackles of manners and decency and treat the dare as a test of their manhood. "Dude, climb to the top of that 20ft scaffolding" "Sh*t, no way" "Do it ya p*ssy" "Oh you're bringing in the size of my penis. I'll show you" Well let me say something to every tanked-up, party man dumb enough to accept a challenge from someone who can't even think straight at the momment (Or any momment). What do you have to proove? Afraid that refusing a challenge will make you seem cowardly? Far from it. If anything, refusing the commands of a drunk is more praiseworthy than if you went through with it. Why? Because you chose not to be someone else's cheap thrill. You're not here to jump through hoops to please anyone--especially not some vomit-stained lush of a gentleman. Who are you trying to impress anyway? The drunkards in your company that wont remember half the stuff that happens on your nightly excursion? Give me a break. Who's to say the guy giving the dare is drunk? Well, who else in their right minds would encourage a person to attempt something that could potentially cause bodily harm? Okay, lots of people. But you're either a drunk or an idiot (Or both) to accept a dare that has dire concequences. And the crowed? Witnesses. Sure it's nice to have a crowed cheering for you...but going purely for the glory is another sign of weakness, and there's a greater likelyhood that the cheering crowed is bound to laugh at you. If you have to do something do something for yourself or for someone you care about or your community. Be remembered for the person you are when you do what's right, not for what you did when you thought it'd be cool. Back to my blight about dares and the people who give them. It seems that judgement clouding alcohol and being 'just another member of the group' suddenly gives men the freedom, nay the duty, to climb, breakdown and attempt anything they want. Is that all it takes? Just some alcohol, people to show off to and those three little words (I dare you) and suddenly men turn into drooling, threatening, automatons led by their guided meat missiles? Let this be a message to all of you who use being piss-drunk as a permit to behave like jackasses. Drinking isn't a license to forget 10 million years of evolution. If you need a shot of courage to do something, you likely shouldn't be doing it. You're not funnier when your drunk, you're not more charming when you're drunk, and the drunks you're haning out with are just as likely to set themselves on fire as you are if you try that stunt. And if you need to be drunk and have people show off for to have a good time, you're even more pathetic than I thought. What really concerns me is: If the rope holding back our baser instincts is so easily sundered, are we really civilized at all? What would it take for the antics of Woodstock 99 or Mardi Gras to spill out into the general population? The book 'Lord of the flies' has become less of a cautionary tale and more of a survival manuel. So as long as gangs of sloppy Joes are accepting the bright ideas of slurred-speeched cheap laugh seekers, it'll be a long time before all the monkies evolve into men. And you wonder why advanced alien civilizations haven't contacted us yet. Respond to this and other editorials in the discussion forum: pub37.ezboard.com/fnextgenerationconsoles80644frm15.showMessage?topicID=3.topic |
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Uptown slimJim |
Hip replacement: Stand up, don't sit down | ||
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During his acceptance speech at the Big in '03' awards a few weeks ago (I know, I never heard of them either), human-tree stump Ashton Kutcher (Recipient of the much sought-after 'Most unique style of 2003' "award"), was remarked to say to the crowed that it's hard to be an individual and that one should never give up just because some people think you're different.
Wise, encouraging words; Too bad they're being said by the physical embodiment of the word "D'uh". There's nothing original about Ashton Kutcher. Homer Simpson and Adam Sandler have made a living for themselves by playing idiots long before Ashton took on the role of Micheal Kelso in That 70's show...and every role he's taken on since. He's got the personality of every rowdy, meatheaded jock found in every public school since the dawn of 'Animal house'. He stands out because he wears a truckers hat? Real truckers have worn trucker hats longer that Ashton has, so why don't they have legions of screaming girl fans? The encouragement is appreciated, however, and his fame and recognition among young people is a good way to spread the good word to depressed teens. Because even if Ashton doesn't seem like the kind of guy who had trouble fitting in, There are thousands and thousands who don't fit in, don't like the popular things, don't follow the popular codes of conduct. These feelings are not limited to teenagers, but like everything else they go through, teenagers feel they are the only ones going through it. So let me address myself to every geek, nerd, techie, sci-fi nut and every other social outcast--so we can do away with moron celebrities giving free councilling for good: So what if you're a geek?         Who the hell wants to fit in? You know what the in-crowd is made up of? Idiots! Look at the writhing mass of the in-crowed, in their identical clothes, with their identical hair, their identical music. They don't talk, they echo! Do you really want to fit in with that? Sure, they have numbers on their side. But do you know why they make fun of you? Because they're insecure, and you make them wet their pants. Sure, they call you names and make you feel insecure, but who's the real pathetic one? The one who follows her own likes and dislikes, or the knob who needs to hide in the crowd? The idiot making fun of you is just jealous that he doesn't have the balls to do his own thing like you do. As for those names and insults they call at you - who cares? Honestly! They don't know who you are, they don't know what you think, they just see someone who's very existence invalidates their incessant brown-nosing of the in-crowd. Think of yourself like brightly wrapped birthday present. People can guess what's in the box, but that doesn't mean that that's what's in the box. You are not what they say you are just because they say it. And what's so great about earning the admiration of the majority? Not a single significant thing of any benefit on this earth has ever been accomplished by the people who want to fit in. It's the geeks, the losers, the freak, the outcasts - they're the ones with the ability to look outside the way things are and contribute something of value. As for doing what's cool - 'cool' has never been doing what everyone else does. Cool is doing your own thing, being an individual. And then, having your style is emulated by the horde of hair-gelled idiots who want to become individuals by copying you. They just don't get it - which is why they're morons. Hey, you think I'm cool? Of course you do! Because I tell it like it is, and I don't kiss anyone's butt. But that prooves right away that I shouldn't be trusted as much of a councillor. So to any teen out there in need of some motivation, just remember that once you get out of high school, things change. Trust me, it'll be better to have lousy teen years and good adult years, because the adult years last a lot longer. He who laughs last, laughs best. You're a geek, you're a freak, you're an outcast - and you're the ones I'd wanna hang out with. Be proud. You don't want to be another swarming fly on the pile of garbage, another Borg to be assimilated. The in-crowd - they're nothing but sheep, and you know what becomes of sheep? Lamb Chops, and I'm not talking about that lame-ass puppet. Respond to this and other editorials in the discussion forum: pub37.ezboard.com/fnextgenerationconsoles80644frm15.showMessage?topicID=3.topic |
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Professor Kirby |
Rules too strict? You get what you give. | ||
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I'm probably taking up a really unpopular standpoint right now, but I've had enough. Every single day I end up walking throught the doors of my high school, it's the same old routine. Take out your ID, pass through the metal detector, head down to the cafeteria. Not too many problems here, right? So what am I complaining about? All the students (if that's what you want to call them...) who- naturally- complain about this.
Gee, I would've never figured that we'd be doing this for absolutely no reason. After all, nobody ever brought a gun to school, right? And people certainly aren't starting fights in the halls. Well, all I have to say is; Wake up, you freakin' morons! And you've probably already guessed the people that I'm talking about. The ones who don't follow the rules in the first place. Honestly, they sit there and complain about hall sweeps, IDs, passes... You name it, and they'll complain. And yet, did it ever occur to these people that if they would follow even the simplest rules, they'd have nothing to complain about? Obviously not. Now, I can understand their point of view when they've done nothing wrong, or they're being treated unfairly, but those aren't the kids I'm talking about. The problem is the repeat offenders. How intelligent do they think they are when they blurt out something like "Oh, those kids with the IDs think they're so smart," or "This is dumb stupid. Why are they crackin' down on me?" And note that these are actual things some people at my school said. First of all, who is really stupid enough to think that the kids following the rules think they're any smarter. On the side note that they are, maybe it has something to do with the fact that they're at school to learn. Not to pick fights, and not to spend all day hanging out with their friends. Now don't get me wrong. One of the most important things about school is making friends and interacting with them on a daily basis. But that's not the reason you go to school. You go there to (hopefully) obtain an education. And how strict do they think the schools would be without them? Hell, it'd probably be a freakin' field day. It's a simple fact that you'll have to learn at some point in your life. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, to quote Isaac Newton. Now, I know that this quote has more to do with physics than everyday life, but if you think about it, it's simple. You don't want to suffer the consequences of something? Then don't do it. Simple as that. Now, on the other hand, there's a lot of stuff I don't agree with in my school. The attendance policy is extremely strict and unforgiving, and the temporary ID system is even worse. Seriously, they want a dollar for a sticker that has your name and date on it? Even the kids I've been complaining about aren't dumb enough to pay for that. Respond to this and other Editorials in the discussion forum. pub37.ezboard.com/fnextgenerationconsoles80644frm15.showMessage?topicID=3.topic |
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Guardian CD |
Reckless, Arrogance, and Cars | ||
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Now, it is common knowledge that in our adolescent years, we believe that nothing can touch us. That we can't get hurt, we're the youth of this world! We're going to grow up and lead successful lives! I cannot confirm how much of that is true, but I can dispute we are not made of titanium.
I hear stories each day about how confident these people are in their skills as a driver, going 90 MPH on the 55 MPH turnpike. Now, for those who did not know, I've actually towed cars, and I have SEEN what can become of such reckless behavior. In an event that took place over the summer, some genius and his pals decided decided to do some jumps off a hill. To make a long story short, they went off the hill at 80 MPH, and crashed smack dab into a tree. Two of the passengers went to the hospital. Now, after this STUPID stunt, you would think this kid would have had his license revoked. A week later he was busted for speeding again. Then 3 weeks later, speeding AGAIN. What is WITH people like that? I mean, you would think after making that mistake, and totaling mommy and daddy's ride, you would never speed like that again? I'll tell you: Kids are spoiled with cars. I have had my license for two months now, and I do NOT have a car, more so the reason I cannot afford it. I hear kids who are two years younger than me already owning cars. These are the people who give my family income. Come on people! Can you expect a kid who is barely 16 with a car to be RESPONSIBLE? Come on, I wouldn't even ACCEPT a car because I don't believe I've earned one yet, that and I cannot afford insurance in my current situation. Yet, we have rich spoiled kids getting cars, while they use their paychecks to add more parts to it, mommy and daddy are paying the insurance. It's fact: These kids will not learn the value of a car. My example about the kid obsessed with speeding is a great archetype of what I am talking about. This kid will never develop the skills required of an experienced driver. Sure, you will likely get into a crash once in your life, and if you knew what you were doing, you would be demonstrating how well you understand how to manipulate a car. Passing your driver's test does NOT make you a good driver, it merely means you can put your foot on some pedals, see, and steer. Which is why a law banning 16 year olds with licenses from driving with friends for six months: they still need to develop good driving skills. Respond to this and other Editorials in the discussion forum. |
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